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Distracted

Distracted by my past, i am lost to the future, no use to anyone, let alone myself

and i am so easily distracted

i didn't come here looking for this

in fact i didn't come here at all

i just stumbled across it in my absent wondering

i used to be somebody else

a kind of distant memory that is hard to place

a life i once lived 

where my feet once trod

now so distant 

so without trace 

just forgotten memories on a computer screen

from a dream

from a distant past 

that is not so distant 

and closer on my heels than i feel comfortable

 

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When we step

when we step out into this realm it seems so distant so void of anything like how it was meant to be, the dream has become unhinged and so have we
 
we post ourselves out for the social acclaim of a micro moment and instantly forget how prescribed and dissonant it has all become
 
the illusion of grandeur from a delusion so ostensibly fragmented and fragile we crack internally whilst projecting a false reality out into the void for others to validate and postulate against
 
our entire reality validated against the propagated false reality of the Silicon Valley leaders of the unfree world. A new currency we run holding out our hands to, waiting to taste the dripping on our parched tongue
 
our words and thoughts become sensors our realities become virtual and we all but disappear entirely as the everyday robots start to rust and the program becomes corrupt
 
abstinence from the social engagement is neither a noticeable protest nor a way off the grid
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blog write with predictive text

Predictive text is not the same as it is fine but it will probably get you sent to a couple of weeks later and you will have not received anything from the email address so I will let ya in on my way back from the office tomorrow and will pick it up from the house I can do a couple of things with that email address if we have any issues with the other night and I can get you some details on it if I have time I can pick you something out somewhere and then go to get back with you and then we will have a lunch break from the office and get some wine for dinner tonight if you want to come over and then we will have dinner at your moms house or something else if you need anything let me know when I get there and I will pick up some food for you guys and then we will have to take a little bit of time to get you home and get some rest and then take a tomato sandwich for lunch or dinner or after lunch or something we could go get back with me and then go to pick her up 

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I am just trying to build something

I am just trying to build something of purpoae and of meaning. Just trying to use what limited skillsets I have whilst on this mortal coil to do something of some use. Use to who? Who knows? Hopefully you if you are reading this. Maybe not.  

I think I will know it when it is done. But will it ever be done? Will the work that has yet to be fully defined ever find completion or will it be an ever-moving goal post. All I know is that I see a hell of a lot of people not doing anything. And I can be as guilty as the next person of doing that. Sometimes not doing something is the best thing to do. But spending your life not doing anything just watching others do it seems to me somewhat pointless.  

Now I am not one of life’s great doers. Don’t get me wrong. I am one of life's great procrastinators. I am the easily and constantly distracted. I have a distinct lack of completion in a lot of what I do or have ever done, or half done. But I would rather be doing something interesting and never fully get it done than never do anything at all. 

This world is full of distractions. And for the easily distracted this means there are millions of things that might get in the way and before you know it the day is gone. But if I can wade through all of that maybe I will end up doing something worth doing. Something that gets done, or at least gets started and takes on a life of its own.   

 

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That fear of failure

This morning I’m filled with equanimity after completing my meditation practice. Yet, before I started, I was filled with doubt that I couldn’t engage the focus of meditation!

 So it is with creativity. Creativity is the expression, the manifestation of our spirits …it’s for that reason our spirits reside in our bodies for a period on Earth. So many acts that our bodies and minds perform are acts of creation…we are here to create. But, in the same way that I was filled with doubt this morning, so it is with the practice of creativity; doubt that my body and mind will not be able. Fear that my creation will attract ridicule and scorn.

 Be aware, it’s fear that suppresses creativity. We’ve all attracted criticism and scorn in our lives. That fear we maybe first encountered in the classroom, reinforced throughout our education, will tell us we cannot create. But we all have that power to rise above that fear if we take the first step.

 Pick up that pen. Pick up that pencil, pick up that brush, that crayon. Pick up that camera or ballet shoes or whatever tools you use to manifest your creation. Pick up that guitar or open your lips and sing. Create! Create! Create!

 Remember, all the great treasures of creation that now fill us with awe were born in doubt. Before that first stroke, fear filled the mind. It sharpened the mind so love could express itself and flow…and flow…and flow…and so another masterpiece was born.

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Sometimes we write words sometimes we don’t

Sometimes we write, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we have something to say, something to think about. Sometimes we choose silence. We remain still watching, listening but not saying anything about any, thing. Sometimes we say too much and others not enough. Sometimes things are better left unsaid, or so they say. Sometimes things need to be said that are not and sometimes we are lost for words. Sometimes they tell us one thing and they actually mean another, but then sometimes we do the same. Sometimes the words they speak cut to the heart of the matter, sometimes they just cut deep. Sometimes they bounce off us like Teflon, other times they do not. Sometimes the words linger on, remaining in the corners of our mind to haunt us as the most inconvenient moment. Sometimes the right word at the right time can make all the difference. Sometimes the right words are no words at all. Some of the best lines have never be said. Some of the best lines remain unwritten. Someone somewhere is writing the very words that will change everything, and someone somewhere just pressed delete. Sometimes it’s just best to write, even if you can’t find the words. Sometimes the words find you. Sometimes they don’t. 

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